When A Pastor Loses Heart

From Praise Warrior

We find it ironic that CJ Mahaney will preach a session called “When A Pastor Loses Heart” at the T4G (Together For The Gospel) conference soon. Perhaps before stepping up to the plate to hit his homerun, CJ might consider interviewing the many pastors and church members who have lost heart and left Sovereign Grace Ministries.

It might surprise the many that will be gathered to hear the strength of the arguments that CJ might not be the best choice to deliver a message on this topic. In fact, many of us would call it downright rude – an ‘in-your-face’ blow to those who are convinced that CJ charging ahead in his public ministry poses a significant lack of integrity on his part and the part of those around him.

Let the discussion panels be comprised of just 4 pastors who have lost heart under CJ’s leadership and the conversation would become quite lively.

CJ, would you please consider recusing yourself from speaking at this conference? Don’t you think you might have a slight conflict of interest here? Here is a suggestion: rather than taking your cues from your buddies Mohler, Duncan and Dever, why don’t you simply ask all the remaining pastors in your family of churches if they think it is wise for you to continue in public ministry at this time?

No one is out to destroy you. Most of us feel sorrow for you. It might be time for you to consider the following:

1) Have you failed to both teach about AND PRACTICE meaningful membership at Covenant Life Church?
2) Doesn’t the nature of a church covenant require the church’s consent to both enter and leave the membership of the church?
3) Do you have unresolved conflicts with your family of churches and their leaders?
4) Are you aware your flock (the one you pastored for so many years) is studying you?
5) How many people are struggling with you because your teaching does not line up with your practice?

Answer these questions and we will be happy to not walk out when you begin to speak at T4G. If you get around to answering these, maybe clue us in as to why Dave Harvey is continuing in his ministry as well. Not that you owe us anything. You might have already forgotten about us.

Christos Anesti!

From Praise Warrior

Do you ever wonder if a story like SGM’s has a happy ending? What would it take to turn the ship around?  Are we just all resigned to shake our heads and be sad at what could have been different?

The silence right now is deafening. No communication is bad communication. What would it take for a few proud men to stand down and say some right words to those whose lives were so affected:

“This happened on our watch and we are here to take responsibility.”

What about TRUE humility? CJ, Dave and others crucifying your own reputation and making things right with the many who have felt compelled to leave? Maybe you just feel trapped and so deep in it that picking up and moving the whole operation to Louisville seems easier. Taking the easy way isn’t always the easy way, guys. How about doing the right thing?

We are not holding our breath. You haven’t really listened well to us so chances are you won’t listen to us now, but here goes.

Why don’t you go to all those who clearly you have offended and caused to stumble and invite them into a new and different dialogue – one that is not controlled and monitored to the nth degree? Imagine this: those of us who felt uncomfortable with the AOR process still exist as those you have sinned against. Take your time. Years if you have to.  Dare I suggest that you might win your brothers and sisters back?

Some have clearly been so devastated that it would be miraculous to ever see them back again but what ever happened to believing in miracles?

Spend your last years fulfilling the two greatest commandments to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength AND love your neighbor as yourself. Maybe that includes us. Don’t haul trucks out of town and leave us in the dust. That’s not fair nor is it just.

You busy yourselves with your mission while those of us who partnered with you in the Gospel are out here struggling, shipwrecked, abandoned by you. Many of us have gone on with our lives but do you think it might mean something for us to hear you say you are sorry without hesitation? Without qualifications? Without reservation?

It has been said that those who ignore history are condemned to repeat it.  Ain’t that the truth?

Here’s a novel concept – we didn’t abandon you – maybe you could consider that you abandoned us.

Now you gather in your stronghold in Riverdale, Maryland and make plans together that clearly leave your flagship churches in the dust.

This is just wrong.

So much teaching over the years about “finishing well” – is this how it looks? We appeal to you – come back to the mess you have left and make things right. You might not have much but we would truly know you love us and you would have integrity.

Rather than offer you complaints, here are some suggested solutions:

· Stop your speaking engagements. Come back home and clean up the mess. We are pretty sure there are piles of it in every corner.

· Call a Gaithersburg council and meet at Covenant Life Church. Invite your estranged family.  Let someone other than yourselves facilitate it. Someone like Joshua.

· Gather around you those of us who still care about you yet aren’t your first pick at getting through this. Maybe you will find a few approaches you haven’t taken could actually be useful. Maybe you will find that we are loving people who aren’t your hateful enemies loaded with misconceptions.

· The RBDs (Reformed Big Dogs) like Mohler, Duncan, etc don’t know you like we do.

· Take time to go to answer the questions on these blogs.

· Go back and answer Brent Detwiler’s tome. If there are accuracies in there and God is trying to call these to your attention, do you think you should maybe listen to them and stop shooting the messenger?

· Put your thinking in writing. State publicly where you are wrong.

· Go back to each of the leaders and their wives that used to be among you. Listen AGAIN.

· Study the attrition rate from your church plants. Let that instruct you.

· A watching world may benefit from hearing about a group of leaders who say “We blew it in so many ways and we have come back to do whatever it takes to make things right.”

· Instead of hiring AOR, why don’t you hire a few believers who love you who might become the band of brothers God uses to start the search and rescue mission you should have been engaged in all along.

We remember when the WWJD? campaign first hit the stage. (You had things to say about it.) Well, it is a good question. What would Jesus do?

What DID Jesus do?

Did He retreat to Riverdale? Did He change headquarters for a new start? No. We know what He did. He stayed with his band of brothers. He took off his outer garment, made Himself low and began washing the feet of his disciples he loved.  He celebrated Passover with them.

How would it feel to all be gathered right now together to celebrate the Lord’s Supper together? Would it be hard for you to look in our faces and take the bread and the cup in good conscience? Might there be an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on a gathering like that?

Maybe you could go to your brothers and sisters one by one and look into their eyes and weep with them.

Is there any possibility of a night like that? Unplanned, uncontrolled. Just love? Maybe it would go on for another night or a week or a month or years or never stop until Jesus comes again. Maybe true revival would break out.

True and humble leadership is from the bottom up not the top down.

Any other suggestions out there for SGM leaders in hiding?

Praise Warrior originally posted a portion of this as a comment. Please see the expanded post below.

God, while ever patient, will not be mocked. There is a time for everything and perhaps it is time for some righteous anger. There seems to be an unrelenting stubbornness and resistance from somewhere within SGM leadership that is repelling numerous true attempts at repentance and restitution. Some have had grace to stay. Others have had grace to leave. This is not just “our perspective” – these are our experiences. We don’t necessarily feel comfortable sharing them with a reconciliation group like AOR with whom we have no relationship.

Ideal SGM review panel: Peter, Paul, James and John.

A few questions here – all, we pray, asked in the atmosphere of “breathing grace” (as Ken Sande would say) and Christian love and concern:

Would Peter find historical issues of some in SGM leadership lording it over the flock? Maybe he would speak to the instances of some being compulsive, shameful, blackmailing and domineering and urge humility and leadership by willing example.

Might Paul admonish that there has been some partiality and it would stand to reason that the charges brought against some elders have been by more than the required 2-3 witnesses?

Could James call for a council of all the elders to come together and decide whether too great a yoke has been placed on our necks  that neither we nor our fathers can bear?

Is it possible that the disciple Jesus loved would recall the letter of Christ to the Ephesians who had abandoned their first love? Maybe he would encourage you to remember from where you had fallen and do the works you did at first. Perhaps he would warn you that unless you repent, Jesus will come to you and remove the lampstand from its place. Yep – those are strong words but they are not ours neither are they our opinion.

CJ has proclaimed the hills on which you will die. There are many things you stand for that you hate, but what do you love?

Analogies always break down somewhere but you get the point. Is there hope for SGM? Always, if your hope is in God alone. He alone is the Chief Shepherd of the church. Pastors are undershepherds. SGM members/leaders consider this: have there been ethical leadership violations during this whole debacle? If so, where is your voice? Is it confined to the forum of one brave pastoral team sending a letter on behalf of some churches or is there a way through the wilderness here that would bring good to all?

Reality check: if you are an SGM member or pastor and you find out what is going on in SGM from these blogs, you might want to grab another cup of coffee.

If anyone would find it difficult in good conscience to invite an unbelieving neighbor to attend your local SGM congregation with you because you might have to eventually try and explain this mess, it might be time to make your departure. Talk with the Good Shepherd about it. Maybe He will have you stay. Would He want to attend with you? When God comes to church, there is no mistake He is there.

There is a pain associated with exiting – believe us, we know; but there is also the issue of integrity and honor. The fires of First Love have dimmed and in some cases appear to have been quenched. Have the once passionate and zealous group of pioneers  in large part become settlers?

Some leaders appear to be content with putting Band-aids on festering wounds. Dressing up a situation with new board members and changing your polity will not be the end all move without fundamental repentance and heart change. We submit that this would involve all three of these: confession, repentance and restitution.

Confession. Repentance. Restitution. Those seem to be the forgotten life-blood. It is not okay for a perfunctory report to come out and say “Oops – sorry – we really missed it there.” Peoples lives have been affected. Eldership that goes un-checked and unbalanced is unwise and can violate people.

SGM, return to your First Love. We are not arm-chair theologians who have vengefully conjured up the notion that we are self-appointed judges and prophets. We are brothers and sisters in Christ who cannot stand for the few leaders driving things at the top of the organization that was once an organism. Then there are some leaders who seem to just be “yes men.” We believe in telling the truth in love and many of you have not listened.

Thank you to those of you who are listening.

Please, we appeal to you. Do not harden your hearts and instruct your flocks to not read the blogs. We are not hate-mongers and malicious gossips. We are not throwing the baby out with the bathwater nor are we painting you all with broad brush strokes. We are deeply concerned for you. We pray for you. Many of us stayed until it became an issue of conscience and we felt forced to leave. May of us had our loyalty called into question. Our departures do not equal disloyalty. Our loyalty is to Christ.

So we are watching – some from a distance and others from within. We long for our remnant to have a voice.

There are some statements coming from current leaders that are encouraging. We are listening but words without accompanying change will be meaningless. Glad you are re-wording your polity but it is true: actions will indeed speak louder than words.

Example: where is the AOR report and why does it need to be discussed in Louisville before we ever see it? What is there to hide?

Some have suggested that we are just a bunch of bitter and resentful people. Maybe some of us are. Perhaps we aren’t. Maybe we have been exasperated. We might just be sad and if you will permit a category of hurting. People who are sad and hurting yet full of love for you. Why sad and hurting?

It would appear to us that the once dearest places on earth are slowly becoming a desert. Where have all the soldiers gone? Is there anyone out there who is not just hearing us but perhaps may be listening too? Post here, please. Engage us in the dialogue.