I have a bit of unfinished business of my own…
I truly want you all to know how much I love and respect each and every one of you. You are amazing people and I am honored to know you and am honored to have worked side by side and hand in hand with you here at The Refuge. While this isn’t quite goodbye (you all know that I can’t completely stay away!… especially when there’s more work to be done!), I know that God’s timing is absolutely perfect and our time as hosts of this blog has come to an end. I would like to ask for your forgiveness for not being around much lately, but life circumstances have prohibited us from actively participating here. To all of our new guests who have not been greeted properly by us, I ask for your forgiveness as well… but I know that the wonderful folks here have made you feel welcome and have ministered to your hurting hearts… these are great people who know where you are coming from as they have had their own “unpleasant” experiences with SGM. Please know that, although we haven’t been around much, you are always in our minds and in our hearts.
I am so thankful to PK for taking up the reins and continuing this blog and this work! It is a bit easier to move on to whatever God has for Jim and I next knowing that we are leaving The Refuge in good, Godly hands! There is no one I trust more than PK and PD to carry on and work toward exposing SGM’s faulty polity and ungodly leadership issues.
Jim has stated in his own “Unfinished Business” post about the meeting with our former SGM pastor and the forgiveness that he extended to him. I have to say that, while I am very thankful for those meetings and our ex pastor’s admission of his sin, I am of the opinion that he didn’t tie up the loose ends of his sin, complete the circle of repentance, and admit and acknowledge the effects his sin had on our entire family. I have waited over a year to get a phone call, an email, some type of communication from him that would indicate that he realizes how his sin affected our entire family, not just Jim. But no communication has been received. While this grieves my heart, as it reveals his heart and lack of true conviction (in my opinion), I am still grateful that he at least apologized to my husband. And, while many of the members of our former church have a misinformed opinion of the circumstances that led to our family’s departure from SGC Titusville, the sr pastor and “James” apparently did not feel that it was necessary to seek to tell them the truth and admit his sin to them… he apparently felt it only necessary to admit his guilt to two men (who he directly slandered Jim to) and to the care group leaders, one of whom, after Tim had read his statement to them, asked if Jim was going to document his extension of forgiveness on the blog. I mean… REALLY? This person was more concerned about Jim’s response in a post on the blog than the fact that their sr pastor had lied to and about someone for over three years, covering for himself before finally coming clean? WHA???
Things that make you go Hmmmmm…
And speaking of things that make you go Hmmmm… why wasn’t the circle of repentance enlarged to include the pastor who our sr pastor was accountable to and the man over that pastor? Jim took the issue up the chain to WB, who, after hearing Jim out, told Jim that “Tim had done all he could do” and that Jim was “self focused.” That was a full two years before The Refuge was started. Jim continued to knock on doors, seeking to reconcile with our former pastor but was shut down at every turn. It wasn’t until we went public with our story here on the blog (and isn’t that coincidental?!!) that all of a sudden our former sr pastor was willing to meet with Jim. I am thankful and Grateful to “James” for his hard work in bringing those meetings about, but I am of the opinion that it is not finished. Our former pastor and those men above him who shut Jim down for three years have quite a bit of soul searching and time in prayer yet to do. And some ‘splainin’ and seeking forgiveness of their own. I’m jus’ sayin’ is all…
I have forgiven these men, but facts are facts. Until they fully admit the scope of their sin and seek true reconciliation, and change their modus operandi, the SGM carnage will continue. And their hearts will remain hardened to the things of God. Scary!!
I am still very passionate about the changes in SGM that need to take place in order for God’s people to be truly free of SGM’s ungodly, heavy handed, arrogant leaders. I won’t be on the front lines any longer, but I will continue to pray for change in this organization, and I will continue to pray all of the Refugees and carry you in my heart. I will also be commenting here and there as time allows, now that we are no longer handling the administration “stuff.”
So I’ll be around… you can’t get rid of me that easily!!
“Jim took the issue up the chain to WB, who, after hearing Jim out, told Jim that “Tim had done all he could do” and that Jim was “self focused.”
If we are talking about the same WB, I’m surprised that he has not been brought up more often here. My experience with him was harsh, cold and very legalistic. His influence over others in leadership (above with DJ and below with care group leaders) was extremely persuasive. Funny how grace was preached so often and yet in his counseling to me, his opinions were very black or white with no room for other options. IMO, his arrival at sgm years ago changed the men he served with, and not always for the better. Although he has elements of a great teacher of the word, he dealt judgment in his counseling to me and to other friends that could have been helped with just a little bit of love and understanding. I wondered if anyone else has had issues with him since he hasn’t been mentioned often and yet I found him to be one of the biggest offenders and the main reason I left sgm in the end.
Hope you visit here when you can cause I always like to read what you write.
Personally, I hold out little hope for SGM, or any other such group, to change because if it wasn’t for their problems and control issues, then many folks who are called out of such groups wouldn’t have a chance to change and grow into who the Lord wants them to be. The following reminded me of SGM and their way of treating the sheep.
In Thailand, they train elephants at a young age by tying a back leg to a stake. The elephant learns that it has limited range of motion when tied down. After a while, the owner doesn’t need the stake. They just tie a rope around the back leg and the elephant won’t move more than a couple of feet until the rope is removed.
I love you, Carole! I’m so glad that you are still going to be around!!
Carole!
Thank you for being the “mama bear” of this blog and for caring for all of us, both in private and public. You have found just the right balance of a Lion and a Lamb and you have done more than you will ever know for the wounded and rejected from SGM.
Like Ellie and others, I’m glad you are sticking around as time allows you.
Love you my friend.
Carole, Thanks for all you’ve done and shared. Give Gibson a hug for me. Kylie is huge!
Carole, Thankyou for your heart for the many who find their way to the “Refuge.”
Including us. Thankyou for being there— for praying— for fighting………
As ya’ll step into a new season I pray God will truly breathe His spirit afresh and anew into you and continue to order your footseps according to His plans and purposes. And that your family, each one, will be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
With love, Waters and Family
Carole, you are a treasure. Thank you.
Much love,
Gracie
Carole,
You’ve been such a blessing to many of us here. Thank you for all your hours of behind-the-scenes work (listening, praying, giving a sisterly shoulder to cry on). May you and Jim enjoy His rest and His pleasure knowing He has worked many good things to His glory through you.
Love and grace,
P.D.
Free Bird… if we are talking about Wayne Brooks, then yes indeed we are speaking of the same man. And Danny Jones would be the other man to whom I referred. I am quite confident that we will see both Wayne and Danny’s name and their numerous “exploits” pop up quite often on The Refuge in the weeks and months to come…
Thank you for all of your very kind words! I love you all so very much!
I have been so blessed to have gotten to know you all and share a friendship with many of you… who would have thought that God would use our horrible experiences with SGM to bring about such beauty and lasting friendships?!!! What an amazing God!!
And PD… know that you and PK are in mine and Jim’s prayers as you step into this whole blog thing… You are awesome, Girlfriend, as is your most awesome husband!!
You can always reach me by email or phone if you need anything… I am pretty sure PK will allow Jim and I to keep our email addresses… Jim at SGMRefuge dot com and Carole at SGMRefuge dot com… right? 
And those email addresses are valid for anyone who wants to reach Jim or I… and I promise I will be better at returning emails now that the administration blog stuff is officially in PK’s and PD’s court!
One more thing… Pam! I gave Gibson a very big hug from you… please give Kylie one from me!
Gibson is huge, too… over 90 pounds at the last vet’s visit which was quite a while ago. He still thinks he’s a tiny lap dog, though… crawls up in my lap all the time… sort of, as only about 1/16 of his body fits! 
He’s a hoot! 
Carole, thanks for everything!
Carole,
Thank you so much for sharing, dear sister-girl. I am very grateful for your honesty and forthrightness. It’s like a clean breeze blowing. Come back, soon! And enjoy your rest while you have it. I have a feeling God will be filling up your time in other ways soon enough.
Many blessings my dear sister,
Stunned
PS. I hope to get to meet you one day, whether on this side of the veil or the other. When we do, I hope you won’t mind a big hug. S
Carole, God bless you and bless you, today, tomorrow and always!
Thank you for being such a caring helper, ready to bind the wounds of the hurting.
‘Thank you’ is so lame, but please take the well wishes of those of us who are here and have been blessed by your fellowship!
I am so grateful this place has been, is, and is going to be run by such honorable people.
Thank you.