There are a couple of things that occurred in the last year or so that I should have posted realtime.
Regular readers with the ability to figure out what I’m trying to say (the lack of clarity of late is my fault) know that I’m friends with a SGM Sr. Pastor. Although he lives in another State, we’ve stayed in touch since I left SGM. He is not a fan of the blog, and does not give me inside info on SGM. He has been helpful when I posted info that was factually incorrect, and I’ve made corrections based on his input a couple of times. We remain friends in spite of the blog, and CJ and others are aware of the relationship.
FIRST:
In January of 09, this man, who I’ll refer to as “James”, called me and asked if I was willing to meet with my ex SGC Sr P. I was of course eager to do so, and we tried to boil my long list of complaints/offenses/accusations to two main issues. While I regret that only two issues were addressed, I agreed to this, and provided James with the two topics we would address. #1-Dishonesty about accountability, and #2-Inappropriate conversations about me between my former SrP and members of the congregation while I was a member, and after I resigned.
The three of us met in March of 09, and I decided before the meeting that I was going to extend full forgiveness no matter what was said (or unsaid).
When we met, my former SrP admitted to the allegations and asked for forgiveness, which I was happy to give. In the following months, he met with those whose names I had provided and asked for their forgiveness. He also met with the care group leaders, and read a statement of which I have a copy.
In this meeting, my former SrP confessed a list of heart issues, and specifically addressing #1 above, said that he had exaggerated the truth, which was deception. Addressing #2, he admitted to two inappropriate conversations, and labeled those conversations as gossip and slander.
I’m grateful for this man’s confessions and have fully forgiven him. I’m grateful to James for bringing us both to the table, and for the very hard work he did before the meeting to discern the facts.
SECOND:
Ex Intern told his story on the blog here.
He participated in the “letters to CJ” thing we did, and CJ asked James to get involved. After speaking with James and listening to the recording of the family meeting, the SrP involved confessed and repented to ex intern and his wife, and had a family meeting in which he confessed and repented before his congregation.
In both of the situations above, the pastors involved took steps to make things right. Things that were spoken about on this blog. I deeply regret that I didn’t tell “the rest of the story” when it happened. I did not withhold this information out of malice, I just “never had time” to publish how these situations turned out. That was wrong, and I’m very sorry.
Tim and Jerry, please forgive me. I make no excuses. My inaction was wrong and unfair.
THIRD:
I love the regulars who post here. You would have no way of knowing that, because I ignore you. God has used refuge in spite of me. I’m so grateful to our readers and commenters, as, when the host clocks out, readers and commenters usually clock out. I’ve been clocked out for a long time and you have not given up. I love you and I’m grateful to God for you. Many of the things that God has allowed me to be a part of have improved after I was no longer involved. I am in full faith that this will be the case here. PK is the right guy at the right time. Please remember to pray for him and his wife PD. When PK takes over the blog next week, refuge will be his. I’m available to him for advice, but have offered none.
If God let’s me have my way, this is my goodbye to the blog. I think PK will let me hang on to jimATsgmrefugeDOTcom, and I hope that many of you will stay in touch. I can be reached by phone at three two one-five zero four-four five four two, and can usually take calls during the day, as I can work and talk at the same time.
My last appeal would be to seek reconciliation with your ex SGC pastor(s) if your relationship is broken. I would be honored to help with this process, and have no problem introducing you to my friend James, who has been very helpful in this regard.
I love you guys. Goodbye.
May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. (2 Peter 1:2)
By His Grace,
Jim
Jim,
Thank you for the amazing praise report and letting us in on a Positive step. This is why I hold out hope for the people of SG….. God is a big God and can truly change our hearts of stone if we are a willing vessel…. There are still many “hearts after God” in the body of Sovereign Grace Ministries and that is my prayer.
They begin to hear from the Lord and desire to be pleasing to him and not walking in obedience of a man made rule but in obedience to God’s word and his perfect way.
After all… The greatest commandment is “Love”…..
You have displayed this well with your “forgiveness” when they came to you and repented of their sins.
The safe haven site here was not in vain….. Many have come here just for the healing and nothing more. No anger, no bitterness…. Just seeking a place where someone might be able to shed some light on a confused situation in our lives.
Thanking God for his continued work on ALL OF US!
Jim, Thank you for the time you have invested in those of us who have been wounded. I am one of those who you have helped sort out issues after I left SGM, but even though it has been over a year the consequences of my leaving get worse–loss of friendships, issues of trust. I know we talked extensively about a meeting that my wife and i had with our former senior pastor and how devastated we were by the behaviour of said pastor. You and others recommended that i be in communication with your “friend” to tell him about what happened including the husband of the couple mentioned above. I have not because of trust issues. Now those trust issues have filtered down to my new fellowship, wonderful godly people who love the Lord, but i just don’t trust Sunday morning meetings anymore no matter how much they bless me. Underlying all of it is a lack of trust. I beleive The Lord can get me there again, but i am certainly struggling. Anyway I am weeping right now because my wonderful wife went to Sunday meeting without me ’cause i just couldn’t bring myself to go. Will i ever be whole again??? Pk, if you are reading, this is what you are inheriting— seriously wounded children of God.
Jim:
Outstanding reports and good encouragements coupled with an appeal for reconciliations.
Unlike the “parting shots” so many of us have endured in our varied circumstances in leaving people, places, and things, you exercised grace in your words and a blessing in your admonishment.
Thank you for carrying the torch for so long. I know you may feel that torch waned from time to time, but it didn’t.
I am a personal witness and ultimately a beneficiary of the hard things I had to see and read on this blog in reference to an organization I used to defend and love with everything I had.
I have learned these things on SGM Refuge:
> God’s sheep are everywhere.
> Sovereign Grace Ministries will reform or ultimately die a slow death. How that death manifests itself entirely, I don’t think anyone has a clear picture of–we may have a good idea, but never know the absolute manner. This sounds brutal and harsh, I know. I don’t say this with relish or satisfaction in my heart. I say it with a broken heart, one that only Christ can bind up (and He has been and will be faithful to do so).
> And when I say reform, I mean reform in the true sense of reformation, and not a subjective view of so-called reformation that allows one or many to keep wading in the waters of self-love and a delusion that they have arrived at the most authentic form of New Testament Christianity. Our goal as Christians is to humbly seek that, but never to proudly claim we have found it and have arrived with noses in the air. We worship Christ Who is the only One Who stands in the very stead of God, because He is God.
> That God’s love is not dependent on my actions, and that sanctification is defined by Him, and not the whimsy of fickle church leadership. Leaders should point me to Christ, and not human machinations that mangle His image.
I hope to see yours and Carole’s occasional visits here on the blog after a much needed and indefinite rest, my friend.
God bless you both,
Love,
–Protestant Knight
Jim,
In reminiscing— I can sure see Gods Hand and purposes on this Refuge the past
two years. God has seen to it that the Light of Truth has exposed “deeds of
darkness”—behind the scenes, so to speak. Implosions caused by sins of pastors that have abused their people in: Fairfax, Chesapeake, Richmond, Denvers, Orlando.
Thankyou for the spiritual, emotional, and mental energy you have given to Gods
people as you hosted this blog. You always hoped for reform for sgm and
and gave your energies to seek reconciliations and restorations— you fought all the way up to the Gburg hill! You took your steps towards the “Goliath” and made a way of
battle for Gods people! —Your counsel with us and the mediations you provided speak volumes of a true peacemaker of Christ. With greatful hearts, we pray you and Carole will experience a season of strengthening and refreshing……and that the JOY of knowing the Lord will be your renewed strength for all of your family! Shalom!
———- Waters and Family
PK,
So much of what you said is relatable to me, exactly the things the Lord has taught me from our PDI experience. One of the most wonderful was that God’s sheep are everywhere. Still to this day, many years later, I LOVE seeing God at work in plain, old folks all around me. At church, there are people going each week to pick up mentally retarded adults to bring them to the service and loving on them in such a beautiful way. There are people who dedicate one night a week to help those who are out of work. There are those coming and going to mission fields all over the world. Just reading the bulletin is a blessing! Silly, maybe, but very real to me. And in the light of our PDI memories and the decaying culture we face in the world today, it brings me hope.
Then, in regard to your second comment about reform, I couldn’t agree more. When we were removed from our PDI church, one of my husband’s dearest friends who was a home group leader there listened to our concerns and completely disagreed with us. He said, if he was right and all the new PDI doctrine being implemented was sound, the church would thrive. And if we were right and there was serious error in the mix, the church would not last ten years. Well, it’s been over 20 years, and now this church is having its foundation shaken and laid bare. I am wondering if our old friend from so long ago is one of the many families, who have attended for more than 20 years, leaving Metro now? There is no joy in this. I’m not sitting here saying, Ha! We were right! I wish things were different. I hope these folks will be okay. Azaziah, we will be praying for you and the others in your same situation.
Jim, as you know, I have a bit of unfinished business myself, when the time is right, so I appreciate the ability to stay in contact. Thank you for all you’ve done. You have handled yourself with integrity, a rare feat these days. We are grateful. I pray God’s richest blessings on you, Carole, and your dear family.
Gracie
Jim, it’s so hard to hear your words, “goodbye”. You and Carole have meant so much to us. We will miss you both. May the Lord fill your future with many blessings!
Dear Jim,
The love flows both ways. Thank you for the exhausting work none of us will know about.
In Him,
Stunned
Dear Azaziah,
Thank you so much for sharing with us your heart felt post. I believe it is His wounded people who end up being His most effective soldiers and healers.
Dear brother, I have no idea when it will be when you come to trust a church again. But I wanted you to know you’re not alone. It took me quite a few years, but for the most part, God brought me to a place of healing and gave me the ability to sit through an entire church service without running out in tears. It was His work to do. I was helpless. He is amazing. Be gentle on yourself. Go when He leads. Stay home when you need. Know you are loved and that your staying home oftentimes is like Him taking you to a place of rest. I believe He will take you to a place where you recognize an even deeper level of love and intimacy with Him, without the church. Then, one day, when He is ready, I think He’ll proably bring you into a fellowship again.
You’ll be different than you were when you first joined your SGM/PDI. That’s OK. You’ll have scars and you’ll wonder if you’ll ever be the same. You won’t. But it’s OK. You will know Him in a way you never would have when you were in a church where your holiness was at least dependent on you. (What a broken, stinking holiness we have when we start getting into the mix.)
It’s a bit late so I fear I’m not as clear as I wish I could be. Just, please, remember God loves you. You are in the middle of His hands. Heaven, hell, depths of the sea, highest mountain, you can’t run from His love. Goodness, modesty, pride, humility, none of it can make him love you and more or any less. He’s pretty awesome that way.
In Him,
Stunned
Thanks for everything Jim. This blog was the one place where I could tell all and be understood. That was the final step in my healing. Grace and peace to you and may God grant you even more fruitful and satisfying ministry now and in the future.
Stunned,
Your late night stupor is clearer than my early morning clarity.
Jim, it puts a lump in my throat to read your “Goodbye”.
However God bless you and keep you,
May the Lord make His face to shine upon you,
and give you Peace.
And please come back. someday. just to visit.
Jim & Carole….thanks for having this space and for the time and effort you put into being a Refuge for past and present SGM folks.